Zip It Up Rep. Weiner

So a U.S. congressman with the last name “Weiner” exposed himself and tweeted pictures of his “Weiner” to the world.

Then of course, he denied he ever did it—until a blogger exposed the truth (pardon the bad pun but I just couldn’t resist…)

Why are we all surprised?

I mean, the guy’s name is “Weiner.” If I had a penis, I’d whip it out frequently too to take photos of it too—just because my last name was “Weiner!”

But what really disturbs me is the media scrutiny his wife of only 11 months now has to endure, not to mention the irony of whom she currently works for—Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Mrs. “Weiner” (a.k.a. Human Abedin) has worked for the former N.Y Senator for 14 years and has since followed her to the State Department, where she works a senior aide.

I wonder how that conversation between the long-term employer and employee went after that story broke? What, did the two women compare notes on how to survive yet another male politician behaving badly?

Hillary managed to keep her head up high during the whole Monica Lewinsky fiansco and she stood by her man (and still does). But back then when she was calling the whole affair a “right wing conspiracy” we didn’t have cell phones with cameras. We didn’t have a society built on social media. And many of us couldn’t even fathom a world where we would be blogging and posting and politicians would be tweeting pictures of their “Weiners” to the world because they well, could.

Do you see Mrs. Weiner popping a boob and taking a photo of it for the world? No. Why? Because she’s a little busy ummm…doing her job. A lesson these men need to start learning.

Maid in Manhattan

A few people have asked me what I thought of the whole “Aaarnold” infidelity story. Honestly, I don’t care.

Did it surprise me? Not really.

Do I think it’s sad? Yes, I do.

Do I feel bad for his kids? Sure. (How he can look his teenage girls in the eye is just way beyond anything I can comprehend.) But then again, I’m not an actor.
At least he didn’t rape anyone and get away with it (like his cousin). Well, not that we know of…given his past of groping women and paying them off—nothing would surprise me.

Speaking of rape and not getting away with it—I couldn’t be more proud of the maid who called the cops on the head of the International Monetary Fund, Dominique Strauss-Kahn.

There she is, an immigrate from West Africa, trying to raise her daughter here in the states by cleaning $3,000-a night hotel rooms for minimum wage. Like her life isn’t hard enough.

Then one day, she enters a room to clean it and gets attacked by this little old, rich, white guy who simply thought he’d hop on a plane after and get away with it.

Not so fast you creepy, old bastard.

I am so proud of this woman. She had no idea that this man was so powerful, so rich and so connected. She just knew that she was being attacked—and she defended herself. She spoke up and told the world.

The ironic thing about the whole situation is that now he's on a suicide watch in Rikers. You know why he’s on a suicide watch? Not because he attacked a maid and felt bad about hurting another human being. No, no. no.

He doesn’t want to live—because he didn’t get away with it.

At least she can look her fifteen year old daughter in the eye and tell her that there’s no shame in what happened and that there’s no shame in confronting your attacker—no matter who he (and the rest of the world) thinks he is.

Frankly, that’s something Arnold, will never be able to do.

Lucy and the Chocolate Factory

I wish I had a simple job. Like Lucy in the chocolate factory.

Whenever I see that episode of “I Love Lucy” it makes me laugh out loud. Not because she’s one of the best comediennes of all time (which she is) but because that episode is symbolic of my life and many others who navigate the white-washed walls of corporate America.

Chocolate Factory Work

Awhile back I was joking (with a former boss actually) that I just wanted a factory job. One where I turned a switch, assembled a part, watched what I made go by on the belt. One where you didn’t have office politics. You didn’t have to sit in meetings. You didn’t have to become a mind-reader in order to write copy.

I want my life to be simple. Like Lucy in the chocolate factory … before she gets behind and has to shove chocolates in her dress.

Bittersweet Reality Check

Then the other morning I was out walking my little white dog and I saw the recycling truck pull up. These guys hopped out, ran into my building and came out with the 40-gallon garbage cans on their back. One guy looked like he was sixty years old.

How do they do it--day in and day out?

They come to rich, white Montgomery County and pick up after us corporate crusaders each and every week.

Could I do it? Absolutely not. And every morning they make eye contact with me and say “Hello.” And “Have a nice day.” That’s more than I get from the corporate crusaders I sit next to everyday from 9 to 5.

So what is the answer? I can’t lug recycling and I can’t wrap chocolates. I simply don't know. Like Lucy, maybe I’ll try stomping grapes.

I've Become a Digital Hoarder

I just spent hours cleaning up my desktop.

I couldn’t stand looking at it anymore.

From books to read, to writing samples, to resumes—I filed. I deleted. I let go.

You see, I never delete anything. Ever. I always think I’ll need it—maybe tomorrow, maybe two years down the road, or maybe even in the after-life. And I never do.

But I keep it—nonetheless. And I’m admitting right here that I’ve become a digital hoarder!

Time to Move On

If anyone ever stole my laptop they would probably hand it right back. That’s how bad it was.

There were things on my desktop that I know I thought were very important when I saved them there—and now, for the life of me, I can’t remember why I even bothered. Like a book review—of a book I hated. A copy of my resume from 2008. Directions, vet bills, recipes (like I cook) food lists, to-do lists, and of course a whole file on cover letters that were never answered.

Why do I do this to myself?

More importantly, when did my desktop become analogous with my busy life?

In fact, my desk top had become a digital history of the past two years of my life. And apparently they’ve been pretty chaotic. Yes, I’ve always known this, but to see it online brings a whole new perspective. So I spent the morning filing, deleting and not worrying that an apocalyptic virus will wipe out my digital life. And if it did happen, I’d survive.

This digital hoarder has cleaned up her act!

Tuning in to the Charlie Sheen Show

I really don’t want to add fuel to the fire of this latest celebrity meltdown, but ... the other day a good friend of mine stated that she thought Charlie Sheen is simply acting—and that the media—and all of us who watch it—are taking the bait hook, line and sinker.

I couldn’t help but think, maybe this is true.

After all, Charlie Sheen is an actor—it’s part of his psyche—it’s in his blood and his blood line. Yes, a growing part of me thinks that we’re all getting “punk’d” —that this a massive social networking experiment to prove what we already know about ourselves but will never admit to: That 99% of the time we’ll slow down to rubber-neck at a bad car accident—then drive on and hope that someone else calls the police.

“Winning” at “Loosing”

The other half of me is horrified at the obvious decline of someone who is in need of some big-time help. Where is the man’s family? If I were his mother, sister, aunt, ex-wife or even distant cousin, I’d be horrified and ready with the straight jacket and a one-way ticket to a lock down rehab regardless of whether he thought of himself as a “winner” or not.

Or would I?

I watch shows like A&E’s “Intervention” and cringe as these ordinary families go through the hell of a family member’s addiction, then sit down and beg for them to get help—even when the help is free. There I am—glued to the T.V. watching someone else’s problems—serious problems I frankly wouldn’t trade for one day of f Charlie Sheen’s Two and a Half Men salary.

But the question still remains:

Why do I come back week after week to watch?

Is this my own version of a really bad car wreck?

A prime example of hoping someone else calls the cops?

Celebrity Docu-Dramas Gone Bad

I don't have to state the obvious here, but I will: It’s been a bad week for celebrities. First this Charlie Sheen show, then Mike Star the former bassist for Alice in Chains is found dead from an apparent drug over-dose, and now I come to find out that Demi Lovato was just released from rehab and that she is rebounding from one of the “darkest periods of her life.”

O-M-G!

Wait a second, who the hell is Demi Lovato?

There I am—glued to the latest entertainment headlines for any up-to-the-second update on whatever manic malcontent unfolding in Hollywood, only to find out that I have missed Demi Lovato’s talent all of these years!

(Ok, I use the word “talent” loosely here—and when I refer to “years” —I really mean “minutes” because this Disney Darling looks like she’s only about ten.)

Time to Tune Out?

I’m starting to think it’s time for me to just tune out. You know—turn off twitter, log out of Facebook and power down the laptop. Frankly, I’m starting to think that it’s time for me to get a life—-me and the more than 2 million fans following Charlie Sheen on Twitter.

The Cost of Free Speech

Yesterday the Supreme Court upheld the right of Westboro Baptist Church to protest at military funerals with violent anti-gay messages that has provoked outrage across the country. In this free-speech ruling, the court ruled that the first amendment even protects messages like:

“Thank God for Dead Soldiers”

“God Hates Fags”

“God is Your Enemy”

The Right to Free Speech Doesn’t Always Make it Right

The court’s 8-1 decision in Snyder v. Phelps shields the Topeka, Kan.-based Westboro church from being sued for intentional infliction of emotional distress despite speech that Roberts called “hurtful.” The ruling didn’t reverse the myriad of funeral-protest restrictions that states have imposed, and it still permits governments to reasonable regulate the time, place and manner of public speech.
“Given that Westboro’s speech was at a public place on a matter of public concern, that speech is entitled to special protection under the First Amendment,” Chief Justice John Robert Jr. wrote for the majority.

“Westboro’s funeral picketing is certainly hurtful and its contribution to public discourse may be negligible,” Roberts acknowledged in his 15-page majority opinion. “But…speech cannot be restricted simply because it is upsetting or arouses contempt.”

The Cost of Free Speech

When I first read the article I was outraged like many people.

It’s just sick.

Seriously? These assholes can’t find anything better to do with their lives? Like, oh—I don’t know—maybe…give food to the hungry? Provide shelter to the homeless?

But as I read more about the ruling and the people behind it, I began to see a glimmer of hope. The family in this case, were not left to deal with these “crazies” (as I call them) alone while they face one of the darkest periods of their life. People in their military community, people in their neighboring community, and people in their church community stepped up to protect this family and fight against these protestors who apparently have nothing better to do with their lives but picket a military funeral.

I can’t image what my family would do if this happened at one of our funerals. Actually, I know what would happen—and one of my family members (probably a few of them, in fact) would undoubtedly end up in jail. I actually have two uncles buried in Arlington National Cemetery and if this happened when they were put to rest, one of my family members would have issued the “call.” And it only takes one call to alert the men and women who fought alongside them to “deal” with the situation.

Meet the Patriot Guard

In this particular case, this family did not see the protest at his funeral because of the makeshift shield of American flags, motorcycles and people that the Patriot Guard established between the church and the protestors. The Guard, founded in 2005, provides shields at the invitation of soldier’s families. Needless to say, Patriot Guard co-founded Terry Houck was not pleased by the court’s ruling.

“I do understand their decision on our First Amendment rights; however, it is morally wrong and it is spirituality wrong, and all of us who stand together at these funerals disagree that a small group of fanatics can hide behind a false religion and continue to inflict emotional abuse as those families bury their loved ones.”

Speaking of it being spiritually and morally wrong, Pastor John Henry of Central Community Church in west Wichita, the site of the funeral for Spc. Tom Moffitt, a Wichita soldier who was killed Oct. 23 in southeastern Afghanistan, said that although the Supreme Court may have ruled correctly on the freedom-of-speech issue, the biggest problem with the protestors is the way they misrepresent Jesus Christ.

‘Ya think?

"For people who claim Christianity and anything to do with Christ to be so mean is out of character for who he was and what he stood for," Henry said. The Phelpses’ have picketed at the church during Sunday morning services because they think Henry isn't hard enough on homosexuals, he said. They come out screaming obscenities and flashing obscene signs.

This is What We Fight For

Veterans find it hard to square the ruling with the constitutional right that they swore to protect.

"We fought for the right to freedom of speech, but we need to strike a balance between protecting free speech and protecting grieving families," said Paul Rieckhoff, executive director of the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America, a nonpartisan support group.

I think everyone should be thankful that we live in a country that will protect even the most misguided of all Americans. This is a right not every country has and one that needs to be carefully upheld in our courts and protected each and every day.

Do You Really “Tune-Out” When You “Tune-In”?

Have you ever noticed how different the same type of show can be depending on which channel you’re watching?

The other night I was glued to my T.V. watching “Hoarders” on A&E. I can’t help it—I had to watch. It’s like a car wreck (and also gives me major incentive to clean which needed to be done after the holidays). So I’m watching this woman who is clearly mentally instable, attempt to clean out her “double-wide” so that she can live in it (apparently she has relegated herself to a “single-wide” trailer on the edge of her property because of all the garbage she keeps hoarding in the “double-wide”).

The fact that the woman goes back and forth between trailers keeps me glued to my couch in my condo in suburban Washington D.C.. It’s sick, really. And the folks at A&E know this—which is why the show runs all night on Monday nights (yes, I think there’s even a special marathon of “Hoaders” if you haven’t gotten your fill…).

So I’m staring at my T.V., absolutely disgusted and start to feel guilty that I’m mocking this woman from the comfort of my couch which, essentially, is just wrong. As I start to feel guilty,I decided to turn the channel and look for more “upbeat” programming and landed on the Style network. What do I start watching? “Clean House.”

I Need a Change of Programming

See a pattern here folks?

I did.

And it really struck how “Clean House” is basically the same show as “Hoarders”—with people just as nasty as the trailer-trash on A&E, but they live in Suburbia and their mess is their “dirty little secret.” And to top it off—they get a total home make-over. Now, instead of resisting the urge to clean my condo—I feel the urge to redecorate!

All of a sudden, I find myself upbeat! I’m ready to move furniture around! I’m ready to run out to Home Depot and start painting…

It floored me how two different angles on basically the same T.V. show can have such a different impact on your psyche. Call it the tricks of the T.V.—but when was the last time you really thought about what you watched and how it made you feel afterwards?

And to think I turn to the T.V. most nights to relax. Maybe it’s time to simply tune into the Nature Channel—where’s Marty Stouffer when you need him?!